Happy Valentine’s to all my readers! As a part two of our Valentine’s Day collab, my good friend and amazing love coach is back for some advice for those of you who are in a relationship! Melanie dives deeper on things to know in a relationship while giving some awesome insight on growing the love you have for your significant other. Read on to learn more!
In a relationship? Here’s a few things to know
So you got yourself boo’d up this Valentine’s day…and maybe looking for some insight how to make it the most magical one, yet?…look no further! Whether you’re newly in love or been with your person forevs- V-day is a good reminder on showing our loved ones what they mean to us!
For those that have been ‘taken’ for a while…
This V day learn how to make it feel like the beginning, again and again…forever & always! One thing for sure, no matter how long you’ve been with your person, there’s a certain magic to the beginning of any relationship. There’s always this pivotal moment where “we can’t sleep, can’t eat…” AKA ‘the high of falling in love’, out of pure joy for our new relationship.
Valentine’s day is purrrfect for sparking that feeling. How? Well, despite the flowers, candies and lingerie – the ignition of the spark, isn’t in any of that! The gifting is AMAZEEEE; but it’s the feeling of giving and receiving that actually is of importance. So before you run out and buy a box of Lindor’s on your way home to your sweetie, try and take a moment to reflect on the beginning.
What was the first thing you gave to your person that truly sparked magic in your partner? Connect with your heartspace and consider what made it pure magic. Bringing an element of the beginning to the now will ignite that ‘spark’. Without getting too science-y…when we activate the feeling when thinking of a memory, our brains can’t tell the difference if it’s actually happening or not. If you meditated on a memory, you’ll know what I mean. All the tingles, sensations and good vibes surround you in that moment. Therefore, by reactivating the feeling with a special meaning, it’s kinda like reliving it over again. So finding what really sparks pure love for your partner and vice versa can bring TRUE RE-connection into celebrating this V-day! WHAAAA? How lucky would you be to really fall in love with your partner over and over again? By thinking and re-enacting? Yep, just like a 6 year old with a wild imagination pretending to be a pirate, you too can pretend and experience it again. If you feel the spark has fizzled…I encourage you to give this one a go.
ANDDDDD the best love advice I ever received…
A married couple of over 40 years shared, “give without expectation and learn appreciation”. Sometimes, (especially women…hey, I am fully guilty of this too, ladies) expect a lot from their guys and we set the bar HIGH! Men however, despite what we believe are very simple creatures. They are logic and no nonsense. We always try to make 50 shades of grey to their words and behaviour into a hiding meaning, but TBH they usually say/do what they mean. Because of this we may throw a tantrum because he got cardinals instead of roses because they were red and had to make a pit stop at Loblaws …this was likely the first flower he saw. (Logic ladies, he needed bread milk & flowers -all in one stop…he just saved time, to get to you quicker! AWWW how thoughtful). If you made a stink about it and you’ve been together a while, he’ll know never to do THAT again! But men WANT to make us happy, they want to do things to ‘conquer’ our love. Your job is to receive with open arms and appreciation! After all, the thought truly is the valuable part of the gift.
Another piece of advice is to just allow and not worry about the receiving. In fact, I would focus on how to treat your partner too! Remind yourself what you love about your guy and focus on putting a smile on his face! Give without expectation. Don’t expect a reaction, don’t expect a better gift from him… just find joy in giving. The key to his heart isn’t the gift at all. It’s how you hold yourself, your values, your standards…and your happiness! I love love (this is why I do this!) and I LOVE being in love, staying in love and GIVING. It excites me and this is why I became a coach. In fact, an ex told me my passion for giving was actually what drew him to me most! This is a day where you can truly give and receive without pressure. Life brings enough of responsibilities in relationships, doesn’t it? So overall just allow, have fun and count the blessings in having your partner to spend this special day with.
For those looking for a proposal on Vday
I do have clients that are eager to get next level with their person and sometimes they are disappointed because they’re looking for tactics or magic communication tools for a quick result. The truth is, I work opposite of that in my coaching. My advice for getting anything in any relationship is very simple. Let’s go back to you. The basics. Why do you want this from your partner? What is the worst if it doesn’t happen? Was this a standard you had when you met them? We’re you open in your communication with them?
Sh*t gets deep reaaallll quick….but one underlying theme is we uncover that the ‘thing’ they’re trying to get isn’t truly what is going to bring them ultimate fulfillment. Without going into too much (as each individual is different) one big KEY is whatever it is you want, you have to feel and KNOW you are worthy of it. And if so, then you can trust it will happen. If you knew your value and you weren’t getting your needs met, then you are the ONLY person in that relationship that can change it.
I offer one-on-one love coaching for singles, couples & those in the dating world. If you want to work with me, feel free to visit http://www.liveloveyours.com/